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How do I know if I'm in an abusive relationship?

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 21:47:24 +0100

Abusive relationships don’t start out that way. Most abusive relationships start out with candy and flowers, courting and romance—basically, a “normal” relationship. The abusive slips in, slowly and maliciously. It may not seem so obvious to the person in the relationship that things are getting out of hand because they have slowly progressed to that point over time.

It can be hard to determine if you’re in an abusive relationship because it can be hard to see the behaviors for what they really are. It’s common for the recipient of the abuse to make excuses for the abuser’s behavior or they may simply deem it as a normal part of the relationship.

You might be in an abusive relationship if:

You’re afraid to break up with them because they make or imply threats

You feel tied down, like you have to check-in or account for your whereabouts

You feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects because the other person gets too mad

You are afraid to contradict them

You tell yourself if you just try harder and love your partner enough that everything will get better

You find yourself worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep them happy—regardless of if you feel comfortable doing it or not.

You feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time.

You find the physical, verbal, mental or emotional abuse is getting worse over time.

Your partner threatens to physically harm you and/or follows through on those threats.

You are being cut off from family members and friends more and more because your partner doesn’t want you to have contact with them.

You partner makes decisions about where to go or what to do with little or no input from you.

You are being belittled and called names when the two of you are alone or in public.

You are being embarrassed and humiliated in front of others, or your partner talks about you as if you are not there.

You are having sex that is forced or rougher than you prefer.

You are prevented from having access to your own money or the family’s money

Money is used to control and manipulate you

Your partner minimizes the abuse, tells you it didn’t happen or that you are crazy

You are feeling intimidated by your partner when they hit objects, abuse pets, brandish weapons, or verbally threaten you

Your partner dictates who you can see and when you can see them.

Your partner routinely looks through your Internet history, your phone’s contacts, texts, and recent call lists.

If any of your friends have expressed concern that the relationship you’re in may be unhealthy, it’s not a bad idea to go through and honestly evaluate the relationship—outside observers may see the behaviors differently than you do.

If you are feeling this way in your relationship, talk to someone. Call a hotline. Talk to a friend or family member you can trust. See a counselor or mental health provider. We have a great list of hotline numbers available that are aimed specifically at domestic abuse. The National Domestic Violence website has some other great resources.

Love should never be about fear or anxiety. It’s not your fault, and you deserve somebody who will love and respect you always.

Have you ever just looked at someone and thought, “I really love you”. They’re just talking or...

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 21:33:26 +0100

Have you ever just looked at someone and thought, “I really love you”. They’re just talking or humming or watching a movie or reading a book or laughing or something, and there’s something about them in that moment—their body is alive, there’s a light in their eyes, something—that makes you think, “I just really love you.” It’s a weird sensation to think this, but it’s pretty awesome that we can feel this way about another being.

(by C-nad)

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 21:32:43 +0100

(by C-nad)

I think this is the first time ever that i have look forward towards summer vacation. but i am...

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 14:45:39 +0100

I think this is the first time ever that i have look forward towards summer vacation. but i am meeting gabbs so i kind of can’t not look forward to it. just we are going to hug and what not and just ahh.
also i have no clue how you are supposed to read more since tumblr changed so just deal with my talking.

I want my countdown to be at zeroor probably at three hours left cause it is not accurate but...

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 17:18:30 +0100

I want my countdown to be at zero
or probably at three hours left cause it is not accurate but still.

ALRIGHTY THEN HERE WE GO

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 17:13:30 +0100

ed-free-maggie:

you can have an eating disorder at any weight

you can eat and still have an eating disorder

an eating disorder is not a choice or a phase

an eating disorder affects more than your food, it affects EVERYTHING

an eating disorder is a psychological illness with physical consequences

you can have an eating disorder at any age, and it is not a FEMALE illness

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Wed, 30 Jan 2013 15:46:15 +0100

varyagst: So I read somewhere that if a woman rapes a man and steals his seed and she gets pregnant,...

Tue, 29 Jan 2013 23:32:42 +0100

varyagst:

So I read somewhere that if a woman rapes a man and steals his seed and she gets pregnant, the man should pay child support.

Someone actually said this.

I am… wow.

bloodysigils: do you ever cry because you’ve somehow managed to gain a truly fucking amazing person...

Tue, 29 Jan 2013 23:31:51 +0100

bloodysigils:

do you ever cry because you’ve somehow managed to gain a truly fucking amazing person as your friend? and just think about how fucking blessed you are for their existence and how in some previous life you must have done something fucking amazing to deserve them in this life? DO YOU?

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Tue, 29 Jan 2013 21:42:07 +0100

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Mon, 28 Jan 2013 09:28:53 +0100

tangledleaves: Sunflowers of the Storm by mibreit

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 09:28:43 +0100

tangledleaves:

Sunflowers of the Storm by mibreit

tangledleaves: Lathkill Dale Upper Falls by Steve Thompson

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 09:28:30 +0100

tangledleaves:

Lathkill Dale Upper Falls by Steve Thompson

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Mon, 28 Jan 2013 09:28:13 +0100

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